October.

Delicious autumn!
My very soul is wedded to it,
and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth
seeking the successive autumns.

~George Eliot

Ease my troubles, that's what you do.

Recently came across a song called "Lucky" by Kat Edmonson and it took me forever before I realized I loved it. I haven't gotten this line out of my head since.

"So cast your troubles into the sky, they can be the stars in our eyes and we can count them another day, from far away."

When I was younger (and even during a few melt downs in the last few years) my mom would always tell me to give her my problems and if I wanted them back later I could have them... but she would hang on to them as long as I wanted. I never understood at the time just how helpful that actually was. Despite the moments of irritation when she would make me pretend to physically hand her something... I loved her for it. I loved just how willing she was to take any bit of sadness, anger, hurt or frustration from me and carry it around. I can't even fathom how many painful moments she had to experience as she and my dad raised 3 girls and had to experience a whole lot of teenage years. An amazing couple, they are. Recently I feel like I want her.. or anyone.. to take my frustrations and confusions from me. The mix of emotions I have had about life transitions have made for plenty of days when I just want someone to tell me I can set it all aside and worry about it later.. that for the time being we can think about something else and come back to it another day when the emotions may not seem so dramatic.

Carpe Diem

"Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary."
-Mr. John Keeting (Dead Poets Society)

Best quote from my absolute favorite movie.

Character

“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.”
-Dale Carnegie

I feel lucky that I have friends with great character. I have to admit how impressed I am by the patience, understanding and extremely high levels of respect that people are able to maintain when being personally attacked and ridiculed when I feel as though I would break down and call it quits.
There certainly are wonderful people in the world who will make greater strides than those who find power and energy in belittling others.

Nothing Fancy

There's nothing fancy bout the way I love you,
It's as simple as the stars in the sky, and the blue in the sea.
There's nothing fancy bout the way I love you,
But it sure is fancy how you love me.

Dave Barnes

Escape

I feel as though a lot of people in my life right now are running on empty. For once in my life I have began to discover rest (though sometimes too much of it) and the importance of saying no to people when I know I have just run myself too hard. I've been thinking about this lately and it was so great to have Jen bring up this very subject before choir last night. She read from a book about how important it is to say no sometimes without feeling guilty or the need for an excuse other than the fact that you simply need to recuperate. It was interesting however to think about it in relation to my spiritual life and that it is okay to slow down instead of trying to run at unnecessary speeds.
In addition to this entire thought about rest I have been addicted to a song by Nathan Angelo called "Escape" that almost brought me to tears last night. This is exactly how I feel on certain days when I know I need to take my time and I just feel like I have no choice but to sprint.

I start my day, I'm late again
I race another clock, will it ever end?
Can't keep up, we're falling behind
There's never any time

As one tasks ends two more begin
They're piling up and closing us in
To live like we're free just once in a while
Is that such a crime?

We all need to have that place or person that will make us feel as though we've escaped the real world and we have the freedom to be goofy and breathe a little bit deeper in order to fuel up for another part of this journey. There are few things that are truly as satisfying as that feeling of complete comfort and freedom.

Raw Lyrics

I'm singing this song with Jenni on Sunday morning and while we were practicing today I couldn't help but feel the lyrics more than I ever have before. Its so raw, so real.


Hello Lord, it's me your child
I have a few things on my mind
Right now I'm faced with big decisions
And I'm wondering if you have a minute, cause
Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.

I don't doubt your sovereignty
I doubt my own ability to
Hear what you're saying
And to do the right thing
And I desperately want to do the right thing
But right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.

And somewhere in the back of my mind
I think you are telling me to wait
And though patience has never been mine
Lord, I will wait to hear from you
Oh Lord, I'm waiting on you

Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up